NUMB

We went in this morning for our routine 11 week ultrasound.  Chris and I were both off of work so he went with me.  Several people had been joking around with us saying that we were having twins.  Everyone was so excited to find out if we were having one baby or two.

Looking back I am sooo thankful that Chris was able to be there with me.  After several minutes of silence, I could tell that something wasn't right because of the look on our ultrasound technician's face.  I finally asked her if everything was ok.  She went on to explain to us that she was not supposed to tell us anything, but that due to the holidays the radiologist wasn't there yet and she didn't want us leaving not knowing what was going on.  The words she had to say rocked us to the core.  She then confirmed what I was already beginning to fear.  I was in the process of a miscarriage.  She could not locate a heartbeat.  I think I was numb and just going through the motions.  To be honest....it is kind of a blur.  We went in feeling perfectly fine and just plain excited about getting to see our precious little one.  And then we left with our dreams for this third child of ours being shattered.  My heart is breaking, but I know that God has a plan for my family and I.